'Cause I'm just amazing like that.

Rossi’s amazing fail blog/Engrish pictures!

Eeeek! Monkey steal my thing!!!!!!
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Ouch… Gotta hurt to go in there…
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Admit it… you’ve wanted to do this more than once. (Or something like it, at least!)
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Make sure your teacher isn’t, though!
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Find it, Danngit!
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You know, I think I want my kids to leave your school. No, no, no problems, sir.
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Ohhhh! Let’s all get there now! They’re having a HUGE sale!!!!!
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Kay… this one’s just sweet…
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I agree!
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Ohhhhh! This is the effin’ PERFECT school!
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Just like the school!
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Ooh, on a different note, Twilight is ah-frickin’-MAZING!!!!

And mah best friend sent this to me… it made me laugh! Hope you guys like it!
AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER ,BRAND MANAGER,PROCTER & GAMBLE.
> February 6, 2007
>
> Dear Mr. Thatcher,
>
> I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads forover 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why,without the LeakGuard CoreTM or Dri-WeaveTM absorbency, I'dprobably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
>
> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well,my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
>
> As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division,you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo.Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week,my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
>
> The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
>
> Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness--actual smiling,laughing happiness--is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
>
> FYI, unless you're somekind of sick freak, there will never be anything"happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blazeof glory.
>
> If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad,wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
>
> Sir, please inform your accounting department that,effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere.
>
> And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings,I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending nonsense. And that's a promise I will keep.
>
> Always.Best,
>
> Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

Ski Trip!!!!!!!!

Good OhGodIsItSeriouslyAlreadyAfternoon, Animal lovers!

Sooo, the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the ski trip!

Day 1 was like ah-friggin-MAZING, ‘cause we went tubing, and, like, NOTHING can go wrong then. We didn’t get any sleep at ALL that night, though (You’re shocked? May I mention the fact that C.Y., L.N. and I are, erm… TEENAGE GIRLS?????)
Then, the next day, we went skiing, which was fun, but then like halfway through two girls fell pretty badly and we couldn’t find the chaperones, so we ran around looking for them. Finally we found them, but the girls had to be hospitalized. They were fine, though!

Anyway, after that, my friends and I turned in our skis, but then everyone went back out, so we were bored for, like, an hour, when people started coming back in and so we had people to talk to. Did you know that the second you start eating all boredom goes away? It’s true.

Soooooooo… If I can figure out how to post it, here’s mah favorite Youtube video right now… You’re so Gay by Katy Perry. Ah, that's how.

SNOW DAY!!! Woot woot!

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Good Morning, Animal Lovers!

Ya know, I must admit, I had no clue that you could cancel school because of extremely cold weather, but I’m not complaining!!!!! I have a feeing that the Superintendant must have had a visit from Abomn… ehrm… Rawr cat, because I looked out my window, and I can see out of it! (I am convinced that the Superintendant’s test of whether or not we have school is looking out of her 7th story window… if she doesn’t have snow piled up to the top, we have school!!!!) So, here I am, posting at 9:00am, when usually I’d be in school! At the moment, I’m listening to my dad try to get my innocent dog outside. I must admit, it is hilarious.

So, this Friday I’m going SKIING!!!! W00t W00t!!!!!! I am totally exited! Yes, C.Y. and L.N., there is no way I am letting you guys give up (And I will maybe make you go down a blue square. You’ll have fun!!!!). It’s gonna be amazing!!!!!!!!

OOOh, and, of course, my nail of the week…you may notice a freaked out lil kitteh behind me? Yep, Loki again. He was very upset that no cute little cat posted on his shexy pose. Because of this, he assumes that being on my blog makes him look un-shexy, so whenever I take pictures, he freaks out. “Is it going on your blog??? Does it have to??? Can you get me a blanket so no one will see me?? Can you fuzz out my face so no one will know it’s me??? CAN YOU JUST NOT POST IT?????????” Etc. Meaning, of course, that the first thing I wanted to do was put it on my blog. I’m such an evil person, no?
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(P.S.- did you know that my border is actually a ton of angry faces? You know, ><.)

Evening news

Good Evening, Animal Lovers!

Sooo… The Rossi Magical Nugget of Info of the Week:

If you’re gonna bomb a clarinet solo, make sure it’s in front of old people that probably aren’t paying attention anyway and won’t remember you in two days, probably.

All right, all right, the talent show wasn’t that bad. Maybe. Like I said, I doubt any of the old people remembered me at all. The worst thing about the clarinet is that, as a band instrument, it doesn’t take up the space of a violin or a piano. Then again, if the clarinetist is totally nervous she’s gonna bomb the solo, that probably doesn’t help.

As an explanation of the above pictures⎯ the nail is my newly painted nail. I used the New York Color Luxury Lime Green, AKA GOLD! I need New York Color yellow. That would be funky!

Then, I was looking through IPhoto and found this picture of my dog, Zephyr. It made her look deep (And possibly a little depressed) so I flagged it for my blog. Loki, my cat, was all like “HEY! Why does Zephyr get her picture on the internet for all the hot boyz to see but you don’t post a picture of me??!!” So, to avoid argument, I let Loki put the picture of him in his shexy pose. Which would definitely have actually happened if he wasn’t upstairs napping. Anyway, enjoy, Animal Lovers! Don’t drink and drive.

Belated New Years Flash!

Happy New Year, Animal Lovers!

*Sigh* another year, come and gone. Now, for the highlights of the year (I am a walking cliché, I know!)

I painted my nails orange. How is this a highlight? Don’t ask me. I will put in a picture of my orange nails. Aren’t they simply amazing? That is not my middle finger. Don’t even ask if it is! >< I need to re-paint soon. You can totally see my growing nail. Should I do yellow?

I moved back to the Midwest (and met C.Y. and L.N.! Yaaaaaay!) By the way, did you know that “yay” with 6 “a”s has the Word correction guess of “Yavapai”? What the crap is a “Yavapai”? According to Dictionary.com, the definition of “Yavapai” is 1.
a member of a tribe of North American Indians who live in Arizona.
2. the Yuman language of the Yavapai.
The word “Yavapai” is much cooler when you don’t know what it means. I was hoping for at least an exotic fruit! That was so off-topic it hurts.

I started this blog. BAM! The best highlight of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now, Animal Lovers can flock around and read my blog of amazington. Which, of course, we don’t because animal lovers are all flocking around PETA, not us amazing bloggers! It is *sigh* my fate.

I started walking 15 minutes a day to get to school. In winter. Aren’t highlights supposed to be happy happy joy joy? I don’t know. Are they? Hmmm… *contemplates for a couple hours* Oh, whateves. No one cares, do they? DO THEY???

I decided to have a chicken. Wait, was that last year? Hmmmm… *contemplates for another couple hours* Again, I say, whateves. This year, give or take a couple years, who cares?

For the news report… *alt-tabs to gmail*
Donna Karan Dumps Fur!

Yay! Of course, this was done with this reeally sick website. It’s not in my inbox, thank God, but it’s like Donnakaranbucherbunnies.com or something like that. Just google search that. You’ll find it. There is NO FRICKING WAY I am going to find that website. It makes me want to puke.